Mustaches for Kids - Chicago

Chicago

Rules

Lest you think this is a front for a bunch of guys who simply don’t want to shave, our Ethics Committee has established Mustache Growing Rules.

  1. On Chicago’s Shaving Day (Monday 19-Nov), Growers will shave their faces, removing all facial hair. This includes, but is not limited to: mustaches, beards, goatees, muttonchops, chinstraps, Van Dycks, and sideburns extending below the earlobe.
  2. Over the course of four weeks, Growers will cultivate sweet Mustaches. Each Grower is encouraged to grow at his own pace, and attend weekly Mustache Checkpoints. Each Grower must shave on Checkpoint days, save for that hallowed area above his upper lip. (No fair growing a full beard for a month, and then shaving down to a Mustache.) The Mustaches for Kids Mustache is strictly a corner-to-corner expression. (See Rule 3)
  3. No Hitler Mustaches will be permitted. Chaplin Mustaches are, likewise, forbidden. Further, whilst the Chicago Mustaches for Kids community does not expressly prohibit John Waters Mustaches, it urges each Grower to consider the ease with which he can avoid being that creepy. We’re gunning for a timeless look…think Magnum, Lando, Gabo, Ed.
  4. The use of Mustache growth hormones is stictly prohibited. Whilst organisers will address issues of glitter application and colouring agents on a case-by-case basis, such accoutrements are looked upon with disfavor. This is a Mustache, after all.
  5. Though weekly Mustache Checkpoint attendance is not mandatory - Mustaches for Kids observes the Honour System - Growers must ensure weekly public display of Mustache authenticity. These events also present Growers the opportunity to encourage brothers-in-Mustache comrades. Mustaches for Kids representatives will be available at all Checkpoints to address all Mustache questions and concerns. And we will drink beer.
  6. As their Mustaches take hold, Growers are encouraged to leverage (and make) the Mustache appeal. As such, fundraising should be a walk in the park. Each Grower should assign himself a minimum Pledge Goal. Mustaches for Kids suggests that Growers aim to raise $300 for Off the Street Club. However, fear of generating less than $300 should, in no way, discourage participation. (Be it $5 or $5000, your efforts support a good cause.) Please respect all local laws when soliciting donations.
  7. This is a contest. Whilst Mustaches for Kids endorses neither trash-talking nor the proliferation of disparaging commentary regarding rival Growers’ Mustaches, there are numerous (yet-unsubstantiated) medical theories purporting that verbal Mustache abuse stimulates follicle growth.
  8. ‘Stache Bash 2007 (Monday 17-Dec) will celebrate the end of our four-week growing season. At that point, a panel of expert judges will select the Mustache King of Chicago. Consulting a very complex and scientific set of criteria, judges will determine one superior Mustache. Height, race, creed, nationality, political affiliation, and popularity will not be taken into consideration. Booing will not be tolerated, especially by rival Growers; this is for charity, after all. Much like the Mustache Checkpoints, the final judging should foster a party-like atmosphere to celebrate the fruits of everyone’s Mustache labors. And we will drink beer.
  9. While the Growing Season will end after four weeks, there is no deadline for fundraising. Checks should be made payable to the “Off the Street Club” with “Mustaches for Kids” written in the Memo portion. All proceeds from the Mustaches for Kids Mustache Growing Contest and Fundraiser go to Off the Street Club, Chicago’s oldest boys and girls club. Donations submitted by check may be tax-deductible. You can hand off checks to a Mustache Representative at the Mustache Checkpoints, at the Mustache Contest, or mail them to the Off The Street Club :
    Please make checks payable to Off The Street Club. They may be sent to the Off The Street Club Development Office, c/o JWT,222 Merchandise Mart Plaza 60654. Remember to put Mustaches for Kids in the memo of the check to help us track this fundraiser. If you are supporting a particular Grower, please be sure to update them if you put a check directly in the mail to Off The Street Club!
  10. Good luck and good growing.